NRLFF Rock Paper Scissors - Krump vs Filthridden on 13/9 (result of ST96 v MTB in topic)

Requesting my entrance music to be "filthy" by WY.

Heard it a few weeks ago in Thailand. Cracked me up. Love it now. Actually a pretty rad track.

Match 2
13/9/19

NRLFF Rock Paper Scissors (RPS)

2 Pumps Krump vs Filthridden Gonch

Location, Rooty Hill RSL - Conference Room 4

Back again for another mammoth contest of rock paper scissors. The event yesterday was a roaring success, we expect this one to be slightly worse.

Its a sell out. We have 22 fans here to witness the second NRLFF Rock Paper Scissors match up.

Let me introduce the competitors.

Krump is the slight favourite... with our more flamboyant fans. He is very quick off the mark, some might say a little too quick... He also has small hands but is well groomed. Known to roll paper when times are tough.

Filth is a mountain of a man, big bushy beard full of crumbs. Scruffy but elegant - like a dead swan. We've been told that his left leg is 6 inches longer than his right leg. Uses a rock as a pillow.

Its getting close now. The lights have dimmed, Krump will be entering the ring first. AH! He is already in the ring! The music hadn't even started. Premature ring entry there. The entrance music plays anyway while he is standing there like a lemon...  The Black Eyed Peas - My Humps. I like some lovely lady lumps.

Filth up next... look at this unit. Is it fat or muscle? Lets call it fuscle. He had to step sideways through the door, his sack catching the door handle. He didn't even feel it. Much like his Mrs..... His entry music kicks off.... WY - Filthy (feat. Lox Chatterbox), erm, topical.... He walks to the stage looking confident yet odd, very pirate like with those uneven legs. The children are crying in the crowd.

The freaks eye each other from across the ring. Krump flexes his teeny tiny hands to warm up. Interesting that Krump rhymes with Trump. The smell from Filth lingers in the nostrils. Quite a stench. He strokes his beard, picks out a crumb and has a nibble. He seems relaxed.

ITS TIME!

Here we go, Round 1..... the atmosphere is quiet but full of nervous tension.

1..... 2..... 3

Krump, flicks out... its hard to see, his hands are minuscule... ROCK. Unexpected!
Filth, surrounded by a green mist delivers... PAPER! WOW, what a start by the giant trash heap. First blood.

Paper beats rock.

Krump 0 Filth 1

The atmosphere is charged in here

brilliant

Round 2..... a bit of noise starting to pick up

1..... 2..... 3

Krump, wow, so fast - did he go early on 2?... ROCK! Sticking with rock for the second round.
Filth, perhaps put off by the speed of his opponent?... ROCK! He maybe had time to quickly open his hand to change to paper. We'll need to keep an eye on this

Rock v rock - no winner

Krump 0 Filth 1

Round 3..... there is a fly or two starting to annoy me

1..... 2..... 3

Krump, karate chop PAPER! Great pivot from a double rock start.
Filth, maybe sensed something here.... SCISSORS. The first scissors of the match make the cut.

Scissors beat paper

Filth now 2 in front.

Krump 0 Filth 2

For fucks sake. He's obviously had someone video the captains run the filthy cheat.

Round 4..... did I leave the oven on?

1..... 2..... 3

Krump, goes early again... that was definitely on 2... micro SCISSORS!
Filth, ooooh - will the ref allow this? Filth has a look and drops in ROCK. He landed it on 3 so it should be ok. Yes, we have the green light. A little wink at me in the commentary box. Well played!

Rock beats scissors

Filth now 3 up. It is starting to become a hammering.

Krump 0 Filth 3

Round 5..... approaching half way. Some of Krump's fans are leaving already. Tigers members probably

1..... 2..... 3

Krump, takes his time and throws out a ROCK on 3. Maybe he squeezed the tip?
Filth, shakes the ring with a thumping ROCK. He turns away in anger and punches himself on the leg.

Rock v rock - no winner

Filth still 3 up. 5 rounds to go.

Krump 0 Filth 3

Round 6..... the crowd sense that this is nearly over, some have even let go of their noses

1..... 2..... 3

Krump, again takes his time. Maybe a valuable life lesson has been learned tonight. PAPER. He is still trying really hard.
Filth, is starting to look very confident. Strategy is out of the window, he'll be going with his enormous gut. PAPER as well.

Paper v paper - no winner

Filth still 3 up. 4 rounds to go. Time running out for Krump

Krump 0 Filth 3

Round 7..... Filth's fans are finding their voices here

1..... 2..... 3

Krump, he has his hands behind his back for this one. ROCK thrown like a donkey punch. Bang on 3.
Filth, ROCK as well. He rolls his eyes at the draw but quickly brightens up when realises he cant lose from here. A sly smile to the crowd. FILTH FILTH FILTH

Rock v rock- no winner

Filth 3 up. 3 rounds to go. Filth cant lose, Krump can still get a draw.

Krump 0 Filth 3

Verbal Kint wrote:.


Filth is a mountain of a man, big bushy beard full of crumbs. Scruffy but elegant - like a dead swan. We've been told that his left leg is 6 inches longer than his right leg. Uses a rock as a pillow.

I am impressed how accurate this description of me is.

Round 8.... massive round here. Krump needs a win to survive. GO KRUMP!

1..... 2..... 3

Krump, is smiling, trying to push the nerves deep down. He lands... really small SCISSORS. Snippy snip! Is it enough?
Filth, takes a deep breath. That massive chest inflates like a swollen bollock. He flicks his hair and licks his moustache..... SCISSORS! He has done it! He cant be caught. He jumps into the crowd and kills 5 people. No-one cares! This is rock paper scissors!

Scissors v scissors - no winner

Filth 3 up with 2 rounds to go. Filth wins!

Krump 0 Filth 3

Congrats @Filthridden ! What an easy victory. Too good and never in doubt. 2nd seed in the RPS tournament next season (if you want to take part)
@Krump has some work to do with his life in general. That perfect beard wont always save you

~fin

I will be there with bells on, mate! For now I will head back to my cave and hibernate for the off-season.

So good 

Well played Filth

Krump wrote:Well played Filth

You too, Krumpy. What goes on the field stays on the field, happy to have a beer afterwards!
If there are ever any tag-team events we should start a bushwhackers-esque duo.

Great stuff. Really looking forward to Random v MF. Let's make it happen @Mighty Fishes

@Mighty Fishes @Random

PM me 10 picks and I'll do your match up on Monday