Round 1 Match Thread

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The reigning Auckland 9s winner V the reigning premiership runner ups. The Broncos dropped their first game last year by getting belted by a Souths side hungover from their premiership, Broncos and their fans have no such hangover come round one after losing their grand final... by a point... in golden point... You would think the Broncos will come out firing after a whole off season of seeing replays of that field goal and should get the choccies. Late news is that Foran is hamstung and likely won't play his first game for the Eels. Corey Norman is my pick to be most improved player of the year and will want to perform against his old club. Will be closer than most think but still Broncos grind it out.

First Try: Semi
Broncos by 8.

V

The owners of Manly look like they've played FIFA career mode in the off season and went and brought anyone and everyone that they could. In doing so they've really improved their pack and look to start the season strong. May take some time to gel however. With Brookie upgraded from childs sandpit to that shit lawn on the block that the rental tenants have ignored hopefully we don't see anymore serious injuries at Fortress Brookvale. The Doggies (bro) have lost the better looking Morris for the better part of the season which will be a huge loss at FB, with their massive forward pack probably not lending itself well to the new interchange rules Dezzie will have to try something different to get the most out of the Dogs. With Graham taking up a large portion of the cap with vasoline and sunscreen they'll need their lesser names to step up this year.

First Try: T Turbo
Manly by 14.

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Raiders for mine will be the big improver of the year. Hail Sezer will be in full effect this year in the nations capital. With fuck all else to do in Canberra you would hope the Green Machine faithful stack the stadium every week and get the crowd behind them. They've been disasterous at home the last two season so they would want to improve or they'll again miss the 8. Sticky generally only has a couple of good years before he goes to shit so they'd want to get something out of this year because it might not last. Meanwhile in the West of Sydney Hook Griffin has taken over the Penny Panthers, known for more positional changes than the Karma Sutra it will be a frustrating year for the fans at the foot of the mountain. Hopefully they don't have 90% of their team in the injury ward this year and can help rebuild the 17 year plan that Gus Gould has in place.

First Try: J Papa
Raiders by 20

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More hookers than a night out with Welshy and the only one fit is a rookie who could still play under 12s. Shakes head. The Tigers had more issues this off season than the Kardasians and will want to have early success or they'll have yet another coach for Robbie to play Young and The Restless with. They're in for a tough year and you have to feel for the likes of Milch and Krump who are nice guys (fuck you Your Name - try and steal my captaincy) Nu Zeelin have got 3/4 of the NZ spine so they should be able to play well into the finals this year but unless they change their lazy attitude towards the hard stuff they're doomed to repeat the same cycle. SJ and RTS should have highlights that could match JT and Mango so at least they will be entertaining in their clusterfuck efforts. Warriors will win this game and I will get to hang shit on my sister until the Knights win another spoon this year.

First Try: Kata
Warriors by 8.

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Giddy Up! If there was ever a team that could go back2back it's this Cowboys team. They've got a heap of improvement left in their game plan, namely not starting the game at half time and they could well win the whole thing. JT is the kind of player to not rest of his laurels and he will get the most out of this Cowboys side again. Starting the season at home in temperatures that would make you sweat while you showered they'll find it hard to lose to the Sharkies. The back and forth of who will play FB makes me thing that Flanagan is a twit that doesn't know what his best side is and will continue to think he's a genius coach when really he's done fuck all. The Cowboys will ruin the Sharks like Gallen ruins a great attacking set. Want to be Great Whites but will be Grey Nurses.

First Try: Feldt
Cowboys by 12.

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I will never forget the two games in the season where they traded last minute victories, was a thing of beauty. The prodigal son returns for Souths in his first game back in League since his holiday playing rah rah. Bath is a shit hole and Sydney is where Sammie and his Monstar brothers can ruin the circumferences of any girl they choose. He'll love it back at South Sydney and the Bunnies will be a much better side with him there. A quiet off season compared to the Arizona fuck up last year they should build nicely throughout the year, until GI decides he wants to fuck off to Brisbane. Let's hope the rain stays away so he can fly up there. Boy, oh boy have the Roosters have a ruff off season. You could forgive Robinson for keeping his players on a short leash this season, surprised he didn't pack his bags and flea. They've lost JWH and Cordner through injury already and Pearce is out for a while leaving a lot of experience sitting down - a lot will rest of young Hastings and JNik.

First Try: Mitchell
South by 6.

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Can we award the spoon this early in the season? If we could it will likely be these two teams fighting it out. Titans lose Sezer and gain T Roberts who is up against his old club, the type of player that will give 100% when there is something on the line and he will want to show the Knights why getting rid of him was a mistake (it wasn't) A give the Titans a sniff here against the Knights who under Browns tutelage should improve but likely won't. Their defence is horrible but their attack should be entertaining, more bros than a kiwi get together the Knights like to keep it in the family. Will be a game of who can be the least shit for the longest.

First Try: Uate
Knights by 10

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The Big 3 have had a pre season together without interuption, that should be concerning to all involved. With more wrestling holds than John Cena and a captain with a silver tongue they'll continue to get away with more rubbish than most other teams. Martina has resigned so that should give the team a boost and they're dark horses to take out the comp. Don't be surprised to see them run up a score here. The Dragons surprised everyone last year (except fiddy) their wins were built on strong D and surprisingly Marshall played quite, trialled off into the sunset with a wimper at the end of the year and will want to start strong again. Most likely Benji's last year so he will want to go out with a bang, previously that bang would have been his shoulders or a swift right at Maccas, but not this new Benji, the new bang will be a pass meant for the winger but ended up well caught by the person in row M.

First Try: Billy the Kid
Storm by 18.