HomeIm sure theres a million versions of it in ur head @Honeysett, how the future will or could pan out. Think it through, what does the gut say ?
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Revraiser- Fanatic
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Revraiser- Fanatic
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Hmmmm coffee.... anyone here who loves coffee as much as i do, how much are u ok to pay for example a large take away cap where the coffee is top notch ? Fave coffee stop on the way to work is now $5.70 for a large. This is a small cafe in the suburbs, sydney etc not a city dweller.
Love coffee and find the majority of cafes cannot get it right, its either piss weak warm milky water and/or sugar is never stirred through the coffee.... hence Rev is paying his $5.70 every morning as it tastes like Kari Wuhrer looked in her heyday
Love coffee and find the majority of cafes cannot get it right, its either piss weak warm milky water and/or sugar is never stirred through the coffee.... hence Rev is paying his $5.70 every morning as it tastes like Kari Wuhrer looked in her heyday
Finch
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Can someone confirm (Or deny) that I have done nothing wrong here, i feel like I'm being made out to be the bad guy.
I'm still seeing the lady that I posted about 2-3 months ago. Over time we have spent many hours together, sometimes would see each other twice per day. However, I've recently told her that I need my own space, I need to do my own thing etc. I have told her that I'm falling behind in life stuff because we are spending time together. Even something as small as housework, it's fallen behind because I feel like I'm spending all my spare/free time with her.
Anyway, now she seems to be complaining/upset/mad at me not spending as much time with her. I've told her I need my own space, I have to do things etc, but I don't think she understands. Honestly, she seems really needy/clingy. Literally yesterday she asked me if I wanted to hang out today/tonight, I said sure, then didn't hear from her for the rest of the day (Ignored my messages). She messaged me later at night, completely ignoring my yes, and said something totally unrelated to us hanging out. I pulled her up on this and she said I said I was busy (This is going back to me saying I need space etc) even though I said yes we can hang out.
Now apparently I'm messing around.
Somebody please tell me I'm not in the wrong here? There's nothing wrong with wanting your own space/time is there?
I'm still seeing the lady that I posted about 2-3 months ago. Over time we have spent many hours together, sometimes would see each other twice per day. However, I've recently told her that I need my own space, I need to do my own thing etc. I have told her that I'm falling behind in life stuff because we are spending time together. Even something as small as housework, it's fallen behind because I feel like I'm spending all my spare/free time with her.
Anyway, now she seems to be complaining/upset/mad at me not spending as much time with her. I've told her I need my own space, I have to do things etc, but I don't think she understands. Honestly, she seems really needy/clingy. Literally yesterday she asked me if I wanted to hang out today/tonight, I said sure, then didn't hear from her for the rest of the day (Ignored my messages). She messaged me later at night, completely ignoring my yes, and said something totally unrelated to us hanging out. I pulled her up on this and she said I said I was busy (This is going back to me saying I need space etc) even though I said yes we can hang out.
Now apparently I'm messing around.
Somebody please tell me I'm not in the wrong here? There's nothing wrong with wanting your own space/time is there?
filthridden- Moderator
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Finch wrote:Can someone confirm (Or deny) that I have done nothing wrong here, i feel like I'm being made out to be the bad guy.
I'm still seeing the lady that I posted about 2-3 months ago. Over time we have spent many hours together, sometimes would see each other twice per day. However, I've recently told her that I need my own space, I need to do my own thing etc. I have told her that I'm falling behind in life stuff because we are spending time together. Even something as small as housework, it's fallen behind because I feel like I'm spending all my spare/free time with her.
Anyway, now she seems to be complaining/upset/mad at me not spending as much time with her. I've told her I need my own space, I have to do things etc, but I don't think she understands. Honestly, she seems really needy/clingy. Literally yesterday she asked me if I wanted to hang out today/tonight, I said sure, then didn't hear from her for the rest of the day (Ignored my messages). She messaged me later at night, completely ignoring my yes, and said something totally unrelated to us hanging out. I pulled her up on this and she said I said I was busy (This is going back to me saying I need space etc) even though I said yes we can hang out.
Now apparently I'm messing around.
Somebody please tell me I'm not in the wrong here? There's nothing wrong with wanting your own space/time is there?
You're allowed to have time and space to yourself, nothing wrong with that.
One of your needs in the relationship is space to get your things done and have time for yourself.
One thing I know of relationships is that it's never you vs them, it's both of you vs the problem.
There was a good quote I read the other day along the lines of - if one of you has to win, you both lose.
Unfortunately the general reaction to people who are clingy like that is for the other person to want more space which makes the person more clingy which makes the other person want MORE space etc. Again, in my experience the person who is being clingy (don't use that word, big mistake!) needs to be self aware of how they are acting and then they need to figure out why they are acting like that. Hard subject to broach.
She does sound like she's being petty but she probably doesn't understand fully why you are asking for that space.
No Worries- Moderator
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IMO housework is a piss poor excuse. Sure you need space and your own time, totally agree with that. But sorry I can't see you today I have to fluff the cushions ? If you're anyway serious about her, get your priorities right. Time management for the mundane stuff that can be done anytime. I'd be pissed at you too if I've been seeing you for 3 months and you ditched me for a load of washing.
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ThisOz Sport Mad wrote:
I'm not really the religious type mate but if that's not an omen then fuck know's what is.
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
yepRevraiser wrote:Redundancy packages are good game changes. Take it.
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Tell her you'd have more time to spend together if she did your housework. Then duckFinch wrote:Can someone confirm (Or deny) that I have done nothing wrong here, i feel like I'm being made out to be the bad guy.
I'm still seeing the lady that I posted about 2-3 months ago. Over time we have spent many hours together, sometimes would see each other twice per day. However, I've recently told her that I need my own space, I need to do my own thing etc. I have told her that I'm falling behind in life stuff because we are spending time together. Even something as small as housework, it's fallen behind because I feel like I'm spending all my spare/free time with her.
Anyway, now she seems to be complaining/upset/mad at me not spending as much time with her. I've told her I need my own space, I have to do things etc, but I don't think she understands. Honestly, she seems really needy/clingy. Literally yesterday she asked me if I wanted to hang out today/tonight, I said sure, then didn't hear from her for the rest of the day (Ignored my messages). She messaged me later at night, completely ignoring my yes, and said something totally unrelated to us hanging out. I pulled her up on this and she said I said I was busy (This is going back to me saying I need space etc) even though I said yes we can hang out.
Now apparently I'm messing around.
Somebody please tell me I'm not in the wrong here? There's nothing wrong with wanting your own space/time is there?
my tv broke- Fanatics Immortal
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No Worries wrote:IMO housework is a piss poor excuse. Sure you need space and your own time, totally agree with that. But sorry I can't see you today I have to fluff the cushions ? If you're anyway serious about her, get your priorities right. Time management for the mundane stuff that can be done anytime. I'd be pissed at you too if I've been seeing you for 3 months and you ditched me for a load of washing.
Haha - tend to agree, though I dont think he meant it was solely housework that isnt getting done. Seems like he just wants his own space a bit more.
I do agree with you though, in that, i dont understand how people "need time" to do housework. Ive had friends bail on plans because they "need to do washing". A friend of mine had a boyfriend who wouldnt hang out with her on wednesdays because that was his "washing" day, and no that wasnt a secret term for something else.
I find it odd. Its just something you fit in with around other things youre doing.
filthridden- Moderator
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my tv broke wrote:
Haha - tend to agree, though I dont think he meant it was solely housework that isnt getting done. Seems like he just wants his own space a bit more.
I do agree with you though, in that, i dont understand how people "need time" to do housework. Ive had friends bail on plans because they "need to do washing". A friend of mine had a boyfriend who wouldnt hang out with her on wednesdays because that was his "washing" day, and no that wasnt a secret term for something else.
I find it odd. Its just something you fit in with around other things youre doing.
Some people have a set routine and it legitimately scares them to change that routine. Generally people with a lot of anxiety, I think or OCD.
Like, OCD/anxious people would be sitting there stressing and not being able to get the washing off their mind and feel like they just need to go and do it or they'll never stop stressing.
Not hanging out with someone on an entire day because they need to do washing is a bit weird. Washing doesn't take that long. Mine cycles through in 30mins and takes me 10mins to hang up.
Finch- Posts : 8722
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filthridden wrote:
Some people have a set routine and it legitimately scares them to change that routine. Generally people with a lot of anxiety, I think or OCD.
Like, OCD/anxious people would be sitting there stressing and not being able to get the washing off their mind and feel like they just need to go and do it or they'll never stop stressing.
Not hanging out with someone on an entire day because they need to do washing is a bit weird. Washing doesn't take that long. Mine cycles through in 30mins and takes me 10mins to hang up.
Weird, mine takes 56 minutes generally, 52 if im lucky. What kind of washing powder do you use?
Finch- Posts : 8722
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^ Joking obviously, few people started talking about washing/washing machines so thought I would add to the theater of it. I didn't mean housework exclusively. I'm getting less sleep too, and just falling behind in general. Feels like I dont have any me time anymore. Wake up, breakfast, work, see lady, work, see lady, sleep. Repeat the next day.
No Worries- Moderator
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Sounds like you wear too many socks and underwear. Smalls take longer to hang out. Re-use, recycle
Milchcow- Moderator
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Who cares if washing takes 30 minutes or 60 minutes. Its only 6 times a year
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Milchcow wrote:
Who cares if washing takes 30 minutes or 60 minutes. Its only 6 times a year
Exactly.
And if you're clever you align the 6 occasions with the 6 showers you have annually and then it is only a couple of minutes each time.
Fuck some of you blokes are inefficient.
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No Worries wrote:Sounds like you wear too many socks and underwear. Smalls take longer to hang out. Re-use, recycle
Finch- Posts : 8722
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One more thing I haven't mentioned, I don't know if it alters opinion on the situation or not, but she is 13 years older than me....
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I don't think it makes any difference mate. All of this time you're spending together is it at her place, your place, going out or a combination?Finch wrote:One more thing I haven't mentioned, I don't know if it alters opinion on the situation or not, but she is 13 years older than me....
Honeysett- Moderator
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Milchcow wrote:
Who cares if washing takes 30 minutes or 60 minutes. Its only 6 times a year
Before I go any further, this is the comment of the year for me. Actually laughed out loud.
Appreciate everyone else's concerns and advice - good bunch of people here.
USA is out of the question, I have a dog and there's no way that I'm leaving her to be in the US. My dog to me is not only my best friend but it's my anchor so I just couldn't bare to live without her around + I wouldn't want to ship her over with the quarantine horror stories that I've heard.
As far as what my gut tells me to do, it's to take the money and run. It's a good addition to the savings account and if I can manage to walk straight into a job then there's no stress.
The whole company is being absorbed so there's a lot of people who are worse off than me so I do feel bad for them, especially when they're telling me their packages and they're not great. My job over the next two weeks will be re-positioning as many people as I possibly can and giving them a leg up to get into the next place.
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You're a deadset champion for still having this attitude despite your own issues. Kudos to you!Honeysett wrote:
Before I go any further, this is the comment of the year for me. Actually laughed out loud.
Appreciate everyone else's concerns and advice - good bunch of people here.
USA is out of the question, I have a dog and there's no way that I'm leaving her to be in the US. My dog to me is not only my best friend but it's my anchor so I just couldn't bare to live without her around + I wouldn't want to ship her over with the quarantine horror stories that I've heard.
As far as what my gut tells me to do, it's to take the money and run. It's a good addition to the savings account and if I can manage to walk straight into a job then there's no stress.
The whole company is being absorbed so there's a lot of people who are worse off than me so I do feel bad for them, especially when they're telling me their packages and they're not great. My job over the next two weeks will be re-positioning as many people as I possibly can and giving them a leg up to get into the next place.
Honeysett- Moderator
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Revraiser wrote:Im sure theres a million versions of it in ur head @Honeysett, how the future will or could pan out. Think it through, what does the gut say ?
Either way I look at it there's always a positive outlook on it.
I'm a really positive person and always find I land on my feet no matter what happens so I'm not really too concerned to be honest.
Like you said though heaps of scenarios.
I could travel for a little bit to places that I want to go to.
I can be completely debt free and not worry about anything and still live comfortably without a job for a while.
I could save all the redundancy and just take any job in the meantime until I find out exactly what I want to do.
I could take it to the casino and put it all on Black.
I could go to uni and study and come out of this better in a few years.
Plenty of options, not all of them good but positives to everything.